Dog elected President of the Galactic Senate; first act: mandatory belly rubs

Senator Biscuit, a golden retriever, won 98% of the vote by promising 'yes.' Opponents could not argue with that.

By Barb Klonk, Politics Desk

Biscuit, a four-year-old golden retriever, was sworn in Monday as President of the Galactic Senate after a landslide victory.

His platform consisted of the word "yes" and a tennis ball. His opponents ran on detailed policy proposals. They never stood a chance.

At the inauguration Biscuit chased his tail for twelve straight minutes. Several senators wept openly.

His first executive orders established mandatory belly rubs, a galaxy-wide nap at 3 p.m., and the immediate abolition of the vacuum cleaner.

His approval rating remains at one hundred percent despite his eating three trade treaties and the Senate's only copy of the budget.

Cats in the Senate responded with a joint statement consisting of a single slow blink. Mittens, a cat with a recent physics breakthrough, has announced she will challenge him next term on a platform of "no."