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Scientists confirm Tuesday is now 40% more Tuesday than last Tuesday

Researchers measured peak Tuesday at 2:47 p.m. and say readings are 'off the charts.' A man named Gary is believed to be involved.

By Deb Klatch, Weekdays Desk

The Tuesday-o-meter, shortly before the needle fell off.

The Galactic Institute of Weekdays confirmed Wednesday that this week's Tuesday was forty percent more Tuesday than the one before it.

Tuesday-ness is measured in Mondays. Last week's Tuesday came in at 0.6 Mondays. This week's hit 0.84, the highest reading since records began.

Symptoms reported across the galaxy included meetings that could have been emails, printers jamming for no reason, and the sudden realization, around 2:47 p.m., that it was still only Tuesday.

"We don't know what's causing it," said lead researcher Dr. Paul Ennis. "We have a theory, and its name is Gary."

The Institute recommends staying hydrated, avoiding garages, and pretending it is Thursday.

Gary could not be reached for comment. His neighbors say he is "around, somewhere, in one of the Tuesdays."

The Web Notifier · Est. some Tuesday · Printed on recycled excuses.

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