Mayor bans the color beige after it 'looked at him funny'

Mayor Dolph Wimbley says beige 'knew what it did.' City Hall, three buses and most office carpets are now under arrest.

By Deb Klatch, City Desk

The suspect, photographed before it could look at anyone else.

Mayor Dolph Wimbley signed Executive Order 44-B on Monday, banning the color beige within city limits, effective immediately.

"I was walking down the hallway and the wall just looked at me," the mayor said. "Beige. Smug. It knew what it did."

The ban affects roughly ninety percent of the city's offices, every pair of khakis, and one city councilman who is "naturally quite beige."

Paint stores report a run on Oatmeal, Sand and Greige. The mayor's office has called Greige "beige in a fake mustache" and added it to the list.

Next, the mayor plans to deal with taupe, "which has been watching."

Asked whether this was the best use of city resources, the mayor stared at this reporter's jacket for a very long time and then left.